Oh, hell no
by SAC31
Summary: With wide eyes James saw Lily jerk slightly as the hex hit her, and then touch her mouth, where her incisors started to grow at an abnormal rate. There was only one thing running in her mind as she felt her front teeth graze her chin. 'James Potter hexed me. Oh hell no.' And with that she let out a piercing scream, before she stalked after James, who was squealing as he ran away


**OH, HELL NO**

"Bloody wanker," James hissed, glaring at the Ravenclaw Chaser while pouring some pumpkin juice into his goblet. "I don't get what she sees in him!" He growled, staring exasperatedly at the now huge juice stain on his robes.

"Who?", chirped Sirius with interest, spitting out some egg in his eagerness to hear the gossip. Coincidently it hit a rather cranky werewolf in the eye as he read _The Prophet._

"Ugh pads, ever heard of a little thing called manners? Or do I have to teach you that too?", huffed Remus, turning his attention back to the paper.

"What's got his knickers in a twist, mates?" Peter quipped, staring at Remus with amusement.

"Must be because of the full moon next week, but can everyone please listen to me? I'm freaking out!" James squealed, flapping his arms in an attempt to gain his friends' attentions.

One would avoid such behaviour in a crowded hall during breakfast, but It didn't really matter when it came to James and his friends, Sirius, Remus and Peter, who called themselves 'The Marauders'. Now The Marauders weren't like any average gang, formed by naive teenagers. They were a sensation, the most popular boys in school. Guys would give-up anything to be like them. What with James' tall, lean and toned frame, luscious dark messy locks, and bright hazel eyes, Sirius' silky long and glossy dark hair, angular features and cool grey eyes, and Remus' baby blue eyes and gorgeous sandy brown hair, it was understandable why all the girls at Hogwarts were crazy about them. Peter was also a member of their group, but sadly he lacked the god-like features his fellow Marauders possessed.

"Okay, who are you referring to, prongs?" wondered Peter aloud, eyeing James fondly.

"Lily. I can't believe she's sitting with Fred Williams at the Ravenclaw table. I mean, what's that about?"

Lily Evans, was the girl of James' dreams. He had pursued her for the past six years, and now in seventh year, still harboured the same feelings for her, but was not as open about it. Before, he would ask her out at every waking moment, and infuriate her to no end, and she would reject him before he could even get his question out. But now as fellow Heads, and with James' change in maturity, they got along and were friends.

Catching Remus' skeptical and slightly fearful eye, Sirius swallowed before speaking up and answering his best friend's question.

"Uh James, Evans and Williams are going out. The bloke asked her out to Hogsmeade yesterday, and they're going there together today. We thought you knew. Sorry mate."

Patting a rather depressed James sympathetically on the shoulder, Sirius turned his attention back to his breakfast.

"Well I'm not going to let this go. He's not right for her." James decided, putting his head up to get a better look at the now kissing couple. Fuming, he looks back to his friends and says:

"Mates. I know what we are going to do today."

* * *

"James, are you sure this is a good idea? Lily would be rather pissed if she catches us snooping on her date." whispered a rather frightened Peter, as he and his friends huddled in the alley across the Three Broomsticks.

"Oh hush," interjected James as he peered around the corner, "we're doing her a favour. Who knows what Williams' intentions are! Now be quiet, they're on their way here."

With that, The Marauders shifted their positions to be better hidden, and caught a glimpse of the happy couple as they chatted their way into the famous pub.

"Sirius, did you get the binoculars- Ooh perfect! Now Peter, read what information you and Remus have gathered." Ordered James as he peered at the Three Broomsticks through the binoculars.

"Uh sure Prongs." Clearing his throat, Peter peered at a piece of parchment and continued, "Fred Williams, aged 17. With blonde hair and a height of 6'1, he is a fellow seventh year, who is Chaser and Quidditch Captain for Ravenclaw , and is described by various girls as, and I quote, 'Swoon worthy' and 'Oh a great kisser'-"

"That's quite enough Wormtail" grumbled James exasperatedly as he ruffled his hair and continued to glare at the couple, who had coincidently chosen to sit on the table by the entrance window.

"Looks like Prongsie is jealous." sang Sirius, grinning on hearing James' muffled 'Shutup'.

* * *

"Fred, I can't thank you enough for what you're doing for me," Lily said, smiling charmingly at her companion as her eyes swept across the street from their table at The Three Broomsticks, "do you think it'll work?"

Chuckling, Fred took a swig of his butterbeer before replying.

"No doubt about it Lily. I got a good look at Potter today at breakfast. He was practically breathing out fire when he saw us together! And I should be thanking you. You know I'd do anything for you after how you got Marlene and I together. So what exactly is the plan?"

"Well," Lily began, staring at her butterbeer bottle with concentration, blushing slightly as she voiced her plan, "first we had to make sure it was well aware that we were together. I'm sure he's heard of that now. Then we had to make a public appearance at breakfast- which has also been done. Now we're supposed to act all cheery and make it to Heads dorm. Hearing what you said, I'm sure he'll be pretty riled up when he comes there to see us snuggling on a couch, you'll leave soon after his entrance, promising a date- infront of him might I add. Hopefully I'll get a suitable reaction from him. Merlin, I hope he still likes me Fred. I was so stupid to reject him for so long."

"Naw, Lily. What you did was understandable. He was quite a git back then. But I'm sure he still likes you. You're a great girl, Evans. If I wasn't totally smitten by Marlene, I'd be pursuing you for sure." Fred said, winking at Lily who shoved him playfully, chuckling as she did so.

"I think we should head back to the castle now. It's getting dark."

"Right behind ya."

* * *

"Prongs. Can we get out of this stupid alley. All the smoke is making my hair look as greasy as Snivellous'!" Cried Sirius, who was staring at his limp strands in horror through the reflection of his hand mirror, forcing Peter to 'lumos' his wand to help him see in the dark. Remus just stood in a corner, looking at them over his charms book, rolling his eyes as he said,

"I'm afraid I have to agree with the dog. It's getting rather hot here. And it's also getting pretty dark. I reckon we head back to the castle now."

Hanging his head in frustration, James looked back at his companions, and then back to where Lily and Fred sat, straightening his posture excitedly as he saw them leaving the pub.

"C'mon guys! She's leaving! Ugh look at the way the leech's slung his arm around her. If he snogs her infront me, I will hex him."

"Come on James, no need to get hasty", Remus said soothingly, glancing at his friends with worry, knowing very well that James was capable of doing exactly that.

The group followed the couple quietly until Peter, chose that moment to sneeze loudly, lose his balance and fall to the ground. The trio stopped and guffawed loudly, helping their grumbling and blushing friend to his feet. Little did they know that their cover had blown.

Lily and Fred turned around to see what the commotion was, and caught the Marauders behind them. Coincidentally all four had their backs to them, hunching over the ground. Lily decided to take advantage of the situation, and move along with her plan.

"Oh my merlin, this is perfect! Look Fred, it's obvious their following us. I need you to kiss me. It doesn't have to be long, I just want to make sure he gets a good look. Hurry, he's turning!" Lily exclaimed, looking at James who was now turning to his former position, having successfully pulled Peter up from the ground.

Just as his hazel eyes met Lily's emerald green ones, she grabbed hold of a flabbergasted Fred, and pulled his face to hers.

There was a moment of silence, before a shrill cry met the air. As the couple broke apart in surprise, they caught a glimpse of a messy haired boy, charging furiously towards them with his wand raised.

"Densaugeo," screamed James, his arm shaking with anger.

A jet of red light shot out from his wand, trying to hit the blonde haired boy, narrowly missing him and hitting the red-haired girl instead.

With wide eyes, James saw Lily jerk slightly as the hex hit her, and then touch her mouth, where her incisors started to grow at an abnormal rate.

There was only one thing running in her mind as she felt her front teeth graze her chin.

_James Potter hexed me. Oh _hell _no._

And with that she let out a piercing scream, before she stalked after James, who was squealing as he ran away from the Head Girl.

* * *

"So, Mr. Potter," began Madam Pomfrey, staring at the Head Boy with mild amusement, "how exactly did you get these... Injuries?"

Lily chuckled, her teeth back to their original size, and looked at James expectantly.

There was a loud bark heard from the entrance of the Hospital Wing, along with a sudden flash of light. The three turned around curiously, catching a glimpse of a rather giddy Sirius Black, laughing hysterically as he tried to take a picture of James. James just looked at him in return and flashed his middle finger at him when the nurse wasn't looking. Lily giggled as she appraised James.

His hair was a shocking shade of Pink, and his ears had been transfigured to look like an elf's. His lips were also hexed and swollen to look three times it's original size.

"Let's just say that it was well deserved", James started, glancing at a smirking Lily who just stuck her tongue out in response.

"Very well then." Said Madam Pomfrey, catching the exchange between the two students before continuing "Let me just counter-curse these jinxes, and then you're free to go. I don't see any reason in telling Professor McGonagall about this.. exchange."

The two students just nodded vigorously in approval as the nurse healed James.

* * *

"I still can't believe you hexed me.", Lily quipped, smiling slightly as she walked with James, heading towards their Head Dorms.

"Well I can't believe you made me look like a troll doll!" He retorted, smirking sideways at her, his eyes twinkling when he was met with her laughter.

"Yeah well, you deserved it! But what brought that on?" She wondered aloud, hoping it was his jealousy.

James shuffled uncomfortably, glancing at the various portraits on the wall, choosing his words carefully, and wondering if he should truthfully answer her question. He glanced at her from the corner of his eyes, and found her staring outside, towards the grounds. The moonlight illuminated her face, making her eyes look lighter, and the green more striking. Long shadows fell on her cheeks due to her lashes, and he swore that he had never seen her look more beautiful.

Swallowing, James started his explanation.

"Lily, I owe you an apology. I'm sorry for that hex. It was irrational and highly immature of me. It's just that I couldn't think properly seeing you with Williams. I hate to admit it, but I was jealous. Extremely jealous. So jealous, that I don't think Sirius will ever let me forget about this incident for the rest of my life."

James chanced a look at Lily, and was shocked to find her smiling.

"What?" He asked, grinning at her.

"Apology accepted, James. And I can't say it's completely your fault. I think it's time for me to come clean. I planned this. All of it. I know, I'm sorry, it was horrible of me! But you were so.. different this year. Just when I started liking you, you appeared to have gotten over me! So Fred and I came up with this plan to see if you did care, and I guess you do.. So yeah." Lily sighed, looking up at James, blushing profusely.

He now knew her deepest secret. That she had finally caved.

"Are you saying you'll finally go out with me", James whispered.

With a shaky intake, Lily gasped, "Yes."

James just stared at her then. Unable to move, incapable of thinking. But then it hit him. Lily was finally his.

"Oh my merlin!" He yelped, before moving towards her with a huge grin on his face. He leaned down to kiss her, and just as his lips grazed hers, he pulled back to smirk cockily at her and say,

"Ooh so looks like someone couldn't avoid the Potter charm any longer eh?"

Lily looked at him with mock annoyance.

"Don't push it, Potter", she growled, before pulling his face to hers.


End file.
